Keeping Up Appearances

(My mother does not care for SUVs, but she had to park next to one.)

"Where’s my car? Is it behind that big ugly black thing? My car looks tiny. That’s not right! It’s an entry-level luxury vehicle!"


My Friends are Not as Exciting as a Soap Opera

(Talking about some drama with my friends.)

Me: “… then Aziz was like, ‘Why did Martha do this? Does she not like Rana? Maybe because Rana is friends with Cody?’ and Lillian replied, ‘No, Martha is fine with Rana. If Martha disliked all of Cody’s friends, she wouldn’t like YOU either!’”

My mother: “Why not? Did Martha use to date Cody?”

Me: “No, she just doesn’t like him. He’s very uncouth.”

My mother: “Oh. Based on what Lillian said, I was thinking maybe Martha liked Cody, but he started to get interested in Rana.”

Me: “No, that wasn’t what happened.”

My mother: “Oh.”

Me: “But that would make sense.”

My mother: “It WOULD make sense!” (Possibly more sense than what actually happened?)

Me: “Well, lots of things would make sense.”

My mother: “What would make even MORE sense is if I converted all of my aquariums to goldfish tanks.”


much-ado-about-muffin:

Ironically I chose Pistachio at the store because he had relatively small eyes…. Oh how the tables have turned.

My mother: “Did you LOVE that photo of Othello I sent you?”Me: “Yes! He’s so cute and chubby! Did you see that I put it on the blog?”My mother: “Yes… . Did I? No, I’m thinking of a different photo. I think you had a photo of another fish on there, and he looked sort of like Othello.”Me: “Are you thinking of that photo where the caption said something like, ‘Ironically, I chose Pistachio because he had relatively small eyes’?”My mother: “Yes! I remember the name Pistachio. It was hard to be sure because he had a certain similarity to Othello.”Me (laughing): “See, most people would say, ‘They’re two black moor goldfish; of COURSE they look the same.”My mother (also laughing): “No, no, there was a CERTAIN similarity, a sort of similar sideways peering, but otherwise they’re COMPLETELY different!”
~~~

much-ado-about-muffin:

Ironically I chose Pistachio at the store because he had relatively small eyes…. Oh how the tables have turned.

My mother: “Did you LOVE that photo of Othello I sent you?”

Me: “Yes! He’s so cute and chubby! Did you see that I put it on the blog?”

My mother: “Yes… . Did I? No, I’m thinking of a different photo. I think you had a photo of another fish on there, and he looked sort of like Othello.”

Me: “Are you thinking of that photo where the caption said something like, ‘Ironically, I chose Pistachio because he had relatively small eyes’?”

My mother: “Yes! I remember the name Pistachio. It was hard to be sure because he had a certain similarity to Othello.”

Me (laughing): “See, most people would say, ‘They’re two black moor goldfish; of COURSE they look the same.”

My mother (also laughing): “No, no, there was a CERTAIN similarity, a sort of similar sideways peering, but otherwise they’re COMPLETELY different!”

~~~

(via goldfishgal)


Project

My mother: “So, your father and I were taking a day trip — well, this is strictly — we’re not going to talk about it too much until we really get going — but we’re working on a project.”

Me: ” ‘We’re going to rob a bank.’ “

My mother (laughing): “No, just divert some planes! Nothing dramatic, like robbing a bank.”


“Othello is doing great and still gets along with the Endler’s livebearers. Now, I’m told that at some point he will try to eat them, so there might have to be changes down the road. Despite his rotund little shape and protruding eyes, the ‘Thelster manages very well. He swims just about as fast as the smaller fish, and eats competitively. Example of his cleverness: twice a day, the tank is fed a small amount of mixed size flake food. The Endlers go after the smallest bits, and the large floaty flakes sink to the bottom where Othello spends a bit of time finding them all. Yesterday, I noticed that he did not go to the bottom to find the sinking flakes but stayed mid-water, snatching up all the small flakes! Yes, he has figured out that he’ll get more food if he eats the tiny flakes from the water column, before dropping to the gravel to search for the ‘big’ flakes. He’s realized that the Endlers will not disturb his big flakes on the bottom; they are afraid of these giant, floating blankets. Othello knows his flakes are safe and he can cruise them at his leisure.  The Little Strategist!”

“Othello is doing great and still gets along with the Endler’s livebearers. Now, I’m told that at some point he will try to eat them, so there might have to be changes down the road. Despite his rotund little shape and protruding eyes, the ‘Thelster manages very well. He swims just about as fast as the smaller fish, and eats competitively. Example of his cleverness: twice a day, the tank is fed a small amount of mixed size flake food. The Endlers go after the smallest bits, and the large floaty flakes sink to the bottom where Othello spends a bit of time finding them all. Yesterday, I noticed that he did not go to the bottom to find the sinking flakes but stayed mid-water, snatching up all the small flakes! Yes, he has figured out that he’ll get more food if he eats the tiny flakes from the water column, before dropping to the gravel to search for the ‘big’ flakes. He’s realized that the Endlers will not disturb his big flakes on the bottom; they are afraid of these giant, floating blankets. Othello knows his flakes are safe and he can cruise them at his leisure.  The Little Strategist!”


Wedding Kvetchers

My mother: “After the wedding ceremony, we found out that there was going to be a receiving line in the parish hall. Well, EVERYONE was on this line: the bride, the groom, the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, the maid of honor… and you had to greet and hug and talk to ALL of them. And ALL the guests were standing in line waiting for this. You’ve lived in Baltimore, so YOU’LL understand when I say you must have experienced something similar at the DMV [actually called the MVA in Maryland].”

Me: “Except, at the MVA, you can take a number and sit down!”


"When I got home, Othello was very glad to see me.  He scampered up to the glass in great anticipation of a snack. Sadly, it was not time and I am really proud of the self-control I exert in not overfeeding him. The little glutton would eat all day long, if I let him. As it is, he spends a great deal of time looking for food, which is almost as exciting as finding some, I suppose. The tank is laid out in an interesting way, with a lot of decor breaking up the space, visually. There are many places to explore and it takes the whole day to get through them all!”

"When I got home, Othello was very glad to see me.  He scampered up to the glass in great anticipation of a snack. Sadly, it was not time and I am really proud of the self-control I exert in not overfeeding him. The little glutton would eat all day long, if I let him. As it is, he spends a great deal of time looking for food, which is almost as exciting as finding some, I suppose. The tank is laid out in an interesting way, with a lot of decor breaking up the space, visually. There are many places to explore and it takes the whole day to get through them all!”


Not a Victory Lap

(My mother visited a new pet store and was very disappointed.)

"It’s almost like they are not in the tropical fish business, or are trying not to be. They did have some reptiles and reptile supplies, and a few lackluster cockatiels in cages. One cage contained two ‘Holland Lap’ ‘bunnies’ (I had to double-quote it; if you had been there, you would know why and agree), huddled together.

"Well, we were out of there in record time, which your father did not mind. Never in my life have I spent such a short time in an aquarium store. We were there for a grand total of about ten minutes, and it would have been half that if I had not gone around the tanks twice. I had to; I simply could not believe my eyes and in a sort of shocked disbelief went around once more, to assure myself that the place was truly as devoid of interest as it had seemed at first glance. Contrast this with the first trip to [my favorite store]. On that occasion I gave your father my blazer (the place was very humid) and told him to go off for about an hour to see the old church while I browsed. *lol* "


Sleep Talking

"Last night I had a very weird dream in which your brother, your sister, AND my sister moved back in with us. You were not there, btw. I remember giving all of them a nice, reasoned, but no-nonsense speech about how I was not going to do all the housework and pick up after them. I woke up in the middle… odd. I would have liked to complete that speech! *lol* "


goldfishgal:

goldfishgal:

"Glub glub! I want more blood worms please!"

Hard to believe this is Jules.

goldfishgal:

goldfishgal:

"Glub glub! I want more blood worms please!"

Hard to believe this is Jules.